|Note me if interested|
Dear Insensitive JerksDear people who tell me to get over it, Dear people who tell me it’s not a big deal that my friend ditched me and that nobody stood up for me,Dear Insensitive Jerks by wh1t3-t19Lightning
I don’t feel like taking your bullshit so I won’t. It’s so easy on the outside to say I just lost one person, big deal. But I lost the person I talked to about everything. I lost the entire group of people I used to hang out with. I have to start all over right when everyone else is beginning to feel comfortable.
Also, I have severe anxiety and depression. Imagine feeling sick, like you don’t want to get out of bed, like you’ll throw up if you eat anything. Imagine your spouse or the closest person to you died. Now imagine it’s worse, because they didn’t die and you get to see them laughing with everyone else who didn’t have the spine to stand up for you.
Imagine you feel like nobody wants you. Like you’re annoying
Lament 2Every time I hear footfalls in the hallway,Lament 2 by wh1t3-t19Lightning
shoeless human weight on the cinderblock,
Some part of me believes it is you.
Strains for the sound of a double-tap knock on the door.
Imagines how it would feel to open the door to you.
In my head I whisper to myself
I don't want it to be him.
If it's you then it's bad news
Something's broken farther.
I tell myself it's someone else who lives on the floor.
there is no double-knock.
There is a shred though that
I don't know...
That imagines when I open the door
and your form hovers awkwardly in the air
that you'll lean forward, step toward me
and whoever is brave enough, it doesn't matter,
will reach out and take the other.
nobody says anything
There is just you and your warm presence
and our agony.
Nothing matters because we're together again.
The stubble on your jaw against the back of my head
the vibration of your powerful heartbeat against mine.
The slight whistling of
Dear VanjaI write this not to satisfy the bleak hope that you will miss me enough to want to fix things, but out of the ceaseless and bottomless agony and rage that threaten to consume me every moment each day. I want you to know what happened to me, because I'm not sure you do.Dear Vanja by wh1t3-t19Lightning
Friday I had a fit of agony. Bird attempted to console me but she spoke in a condescending manner and wanted to tell me to face reality. Reality? What was there in reality? There was no reason to want to face it. Then everything was worse. Gwen returned. You may think, as naive as you are, that she would comfort me and support me and hug me. But she did none of these things. She watched me like I was a writhing mass of cancer. When, out of futility, I screamed "why," she replied out of pent up frustration, "because you're pushy, you're rude, and you're selfish." It was finished. The last tie was severed. I had nothing. I could not stand t
|People need to understand this.|
You may call me:|
I have moderate social anxiety and major trust issues. I've lost a lot of friends in my time.
I have high emotional intensity, which means my emotions are a hell of a lot stronger for me than for others. I react irrationally to normal things. I cry over friends being even a little annoyed at me and laugh at the smallest smile.
I'm currently attending college and am majoring in Molecular, Cellular and Integrative Biology. I'm planning on being a geneticist.
I write, draw and paint, both digitally and traditionally. My specialties are canines, monsters and dragons. I can draw humans, though I don't prefer them as much. They're just not as interesting.
I am like an abused dog. You earn my trust and I will follow you to the ends of the earth... but you break my heart and I will never look at you the same.
The Kiwi (my brother) :